Tori Amos - Crucify
Every finger in the room is pointing at me
I wanna spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my somach, I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now

Ive been looking for a savior in these dirty streets
Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
Ive been raising up my hands- drive another nail in
Just what God needs, one more victim

Why do we crucify ourselves
Everyday I crucify myself
Nothing I do is good enough for you
Crucify myself
Everyday I crucify myself
And my heart is sick of being in chains

Got a kick for a dog, beggin for love
Gotta have my sufferingso that I can have my cross
I know a cat named easter, he says will you ever learn
Youre just an empty cage girl if you kill the bird

Ive been looking for a savior in these dirty streets
Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
Ive been raising up my hands- drive another nail in
Got enough guilt to start my own religion

Why do we crucify ourselves
Everyday I crucify myself
Nothing I do is good enough for you
Crucify myself
Everyday I crucify myself
And my heart is sick of being in chains

Please be
Save me
I cry

Looking for a savior in these dirty streets
Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
Ive been raising up my hands- drive another nail in
Where are those angels when you need them

Why do we crucify ourselves
Everyday I crucify myself
Nothing I do is good enough for you
Crucify myself
Everyday I crucify myself
And my heart is sick of being in chains

这个这个....最近被rosa教育的对吵的音乐也有爱了,虽然原来就很喜欢linkin park的numb的.
这首我本来听得是linkin park和jay-z合唱的Lying From You Dirt Off Your Shoulder,后来才发现这是两首歌混在一起唱的狂汗............于是分别听了Lying From You和Dirt Off Your Shoulder,还是喜欢前者.

不过一定要去听合唱版本里的开头3句话哈哈哈
i ordered a frappachino.
where's my fucking frappachino?
alright, let's do this.
===================================

Linkin Park - Lying From You

When I pretend,
Everything is what I want it to be,
I looked exactly like what you had always wanted to see,
When I pretend,
I can’t forget about the criminal I am,
Stealing second after second just cause I know I can,
But I can’t pretend that this is the way, it'll stay, I’m just,
(Trying to bend the truth)
I can’t pretend I'm who you want me to be so I'm,
(Lying my way from)

You!!!!!!!!
(No, no turning back now)
I wanna be pushed aside, so let me go!!
(No, no turning back now)
Let me take back my life
I’d rather be, all alone!!
(No turning back now)
Anywhere on my own, cause I can see!!!
(No, no turning back now)
The very worst part of you…
IS ME

I remember what they taught to me,
Remember condescending talk,
Of who I ought to be,
Remember listening to all of that,
And this again,
So I pretended up a person who was fitting in,
And now you think this person,
Really is me and I'm,
(Trying to bend the truth )
The more I push,
The more I’m pulling away,
Cause I’m,
(Lying my way from)

You!!!!!!!!
(No, no turning back now)
I wanna be pushed aside, so let me go!!!
(No, no turning back now)
Let me take back my life,
I’d rather be, all alone!!
(No turning back now)
Anywhere on my own, cause I can see!!!
(No, no turning back now)
The very worst part of you….
The very worst part of you….
IS ME!!!!!

This isn’t what I wanted to be,
I never thought that what I said,
Would have you running from me,
LIKE THIS!
This isn’t what I wanted to be,
I never thought that what I said,
Would have you running from me,
LIKE THIS!!!!
This isn’t what I wanted to be,
I never thought that what I said,
Would have you running from me,
LIKE THIS!!!!
This isn’t what I wanted to be,
I never thought that what I said,
Would have you running from me,
LIKE THIS!!

YOU!!!!!!!!
(no turning back now)
I wanna be pushed aside, so let me go!!!
(No, no turning back now)
Let me take back my life,
I’d rather be all alone!!!
(No turning back now)
Anywhere on my own, cause I can see!!!
(No, no turning back now)
The very worst part of you…
The very worst part of you…
IS ME!

还是喜欢Tori的刚新版本啊....闻起来像是除臭剂..........涅槃也太有创意了,据称是涅槃的主唱的GF说他闻起来像是除臭剂才会有这首歌的,同时还说歌词完全没有意义..

Tori Amos - Smells Like Teen Spirit

Load up on guns
and bring your friends
It's fun to lose
And to pretend
She's overbored
And self assured
Oh no, I know a dirty word

Hello hello hello HOW LOW
I'm worse at what I do best
And for this gift I feel blessed
Our little group has all always been
And always will be until the end

Hello hello hello HOW LOW
With the lights out it's less dangerous
Here we are now
Entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now
Entertain us

yes

Hello hello

With the lights out it's less dangerous
Here we are now
Entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now
Entertain us
A mulatto
An albino
A mosquito
My Libido
Yes
A denial
A denial

    这个片断是属于PAUL和CELIA的，包括CELIA第一次对PAUL的采访和树林里美好的生日晚宴，以及兄弟之间的交锋，涉及到的台词下面我都用另外的颜色标明了。原来新西兰的口音很多老外也很头痛，所以有狂热的影迷自己记录下电影的全部台词，他叫BROOKE，在这里用中文对他说：“谢谢”!(Thank you  very much, Brook.)

TRANSCRIPT-----
The tide went out and never returned. The sea just left without warning. At first people were little more than puzzled. They continued to gossip and fight over the same old thing. But soon a silence began to permeate the township. A vision of unbelievable magnitude was beginning to form before their very eyes.
----
We come together as family and friends to farewell him and to grieve him. we think especially of you, his family: Andrew, Penny, Jonathan. For the loss of a father, a father-in-law and grandfather.
Part of our grief may be regret for things done or left undone, words said or words never said.
----
Penny: Yes
Paul Prior: Is Andrew there?
Pen: You must be Paul. Please, come in. I'm Penny.
P: Hi Penny
Pen: Andrew's wife. Ah, they're in here. Andrew?
P: Sorry, my plane was delayed in HK
Andrew: Paul?
---
A: Thanks. Jonathan
Pen: So, how's London? Is that where you're based?
P: Actually I'm spending more time in Istanbul these days. Oh Jesus, f&ck it, my balance? is complete.
Pen: It's fine, really.
--
P: You?? have a nice place. You've really done well.
A: I'll get Penny to make up a bed in a spare room.
P: No that's fine I made reservations from London.
A: No really It's no trouble
P: No it's done. Andrew it's done. Thank you.
P: So, he's gone.
A: Yeah.
---
[Paul Wait. Paul wait. Paul come back home. Paul don't leave. Paul---]
----
P: Andrew. Sh*t the lawyers. Oh f&ck. Sorry. Sorry I wanted to be there. Slept in. How did it go?
A: He left you a third.
P: Well, you deserve two thirds.
A: He left me a third as well.
P: And the rest?
A: He left it to a charity. He-- Listen I need to move on this, We need to clear the orchard and the cottage -- I can't wait around Paul-- I made an appointment for you to see the lawyer on Tuesday
P: Well, I'll drop by and see him later
A: You can't just drop by --- you can't just drop by and see them Paul--
P: Right. Hey you know what? another job came through, so I'm leaving -- tomorrow.
A: well you obviously have more important things. I'll see you in another 17 years.
P: Come on Andrew don't be such an old?---
A: Come on Andew don't what? How long have you been here Paul? Two days? Forget the fact this all just leaves me梇ou抮e just like when mum died.
P: Oh leave mum the f&&k out of it, At least have the decency to do that.
A: Decency?
P: Yeah
A: You think you're the one being decent? Swanning in here like some b****y film star with your accent?
P: You know nothing about me, Andrew.
A: Listen, he would have wanted you to have these. I almost forgot. They handed me this at the council meeting. You dropped it at the pub the afternoon of the service. It could be useful getting home.
You didn't have to lie to me Paul. We weren't expecting you in the first place.
----
Father: That's good wine you're spilling. How did you find this place?
Young Paul: I heard music. Mom doesn't know about this place.
F: No she doesn't. It's OK. You can stay.
----
Paul reads: One day in a town at the edge of the world the tide went out and never returned.
----
A: When do you think you'll learn?
?: As soon as we get these blood samples back and the swabs-- a couple of days.
P: I've extended my trip. I'll sort the house out.
A: Paul -- thanks.
---
Penny: Green Tea
P: What's he doing down there?
Pen: There's been an outbreak of some virus. I'm praying they're okay.
He cares about you Paul.
P: He never told Jonathan about me.
Pen: We each have our own way of dealing with things.
P: I can抰 believe how much you look like mum.
-----
Young P: Who is she?
Father: That's Hope.
YP: Is she crying?
F: She's thinking.
YP: What about?
F: Many things.
---
Celia: Jesus!
P: What are you doing here?
C: It's just a place that I found that no one else comes to, I just--
P: Did he let you come here?
C: No. No one else knows that I come here. I should probably go.
P: Yeah I think you should. I'll give you a couple of minutes to get your sh*t together and get out.
----
W: Paulie? Paulie Prior!
P: Hey, Winnie.
W: Look who it is.
P: How are you doing?
W: I was looking for you at the service and I thought I bet the little bugger is here somewhere - and I dont' even recognize him.
P: Ah no I had some complications
W: Oh that's a shame. Hey you remember Pat- Pat, look, look who it is -- It's Paulie
P: Miss Seager?
MS: Well, well,
P: I had no idea you were still here
MS: What? you thought I'd dropped off the face of the earth?
W: And he even has the fancy bloomin plummy accent.
Miss Seagar: War zones. From the genocide in Ruwanda to the ceaseless fighting in the Middle East and the horrors of the Bosnian conflict. War zones have been both home and work for the last decade to the man you are about to meet. A man whose dedication and courage has gained him an international reputation of the highest merit, not to mention the numerous awards he has received for both his articles and photographs and that he is an old dear student of mine who I taught in these very buildings. I present to you Paul Prior.
P: Thank you. That was a very generous introduction Miss Seagar. Yeah, my school reports were never that good. The truth is that I've been called many things, many worse things since I last stepped foot in this building - vulture, parasite ,leech - and -- it's amazing how insults in most languages sound pretty much the same.
I was once held captive for three days and publicly urinated on.
I don't really know what to say, but I'd be happy to answer any questions that you might have.
----
C: He was a finalist for the Pulitzer
Miso: Pulitzer? What the hell is that?
C: It's a huge prize. He had a one in three chance of winning it as well. / / / print and for taking Photos / / / He does both.
M: How do you know this sh*t?
C: I read an interview?
M: Sounds like a lone wolf -- That reminds me I'm thinking of getting a tattoo - a little unicorn - right here.
C: Why? Steve has exactly the same one?
M: No I just think it would be cool. So anyway, How'd it go with Jake?
C: It was awful.
M: Tell me!
C: Oh. Well, first of all we had a moonlight stroll down the beach and a candlelit dinner and then he told me what beautiful eyes I had.
M: Really?
C: No you / / / He only got drinks to go to/ / / You know he was like: Yo man. Yo bitch. But I don't think it should be quite so obvious?

　　

----
P: I was reading the local rag today -- the medic team / / / cell phone. Front page. Oh God. I'd forgotten how quiet is. I've had this b****y ringing in my ears ever since I got here.
Pat: Maybe the change here will do you good. Like I said, if you ever get bored photographing war.
P: You weren't being serious, were you?
Pat: I'm three staff down, Paul. I know it might sound desperate, but--
P: Pat, I'd be hopeless, I抳e never taught in my life. Come on.
Pat: You went out and made something of yourself. What can beat that? Half these kids don't even know what's on the other side of those hills.
----
Penny: Paul
Pen: Paul gave it to Jonathan
J: It's got a good zeus? lens?
A: It's much much too kind.
P: No it's fine. Honestly, I'm using digital these days. If you're going to be a serious photographer, you need a good zoom lens. See you tomorrow then. Goodnight.
Pen: Goodnight Paul.
J: Goodnight.
Pen: Jonathan said he gave a talk at the school. Apparently the kids really liked him.
A: Good.
------
Jake: Can I f-- you now?
C: God! You've got a way with words!
Jake: Sorry, what do you want to do then? What you all doing man?
C: Just playing.
Jake: Just play carefully --- sh*t! ah f-- you //----
C: You were meant to stay still!
-----
Jax: You look well.
P: Well used more like it.
J: It's different. You have an accent. So English
P: You think? Well, it was inevitable. Sick of being called an Australian.
J: Fair enough.
P: Help yourself.
J: Oh no I quit.
P: Kids?
J: Two. One of each. Remember Ben?
P: Ben Steimer.
J: Yeah. We got together about 18 months after you left. He died when Elvis was five.
P: I'm sorry
J: I was pregnant with Sam at the time so I had the kids to think about and decided to keep the business running.
P: What was that?
J: Butchery. Shortest butcher in NZ
P: Really?
J: Yeah well I'm a ninja with a boning knife
P: No surprises there.
J: I see your brother from time to time.
P: Yeah, he's up to his neck in ostriches.
J: Is he still married? I never see his wife.
P: No, yeah, I -- I don't think she goes out much
----
Andrew: How many times have I told you about leaving the gate to the pen open? If you think you're going to see this again you're mistaken. You disgust me.
----
Gareth: Who the hell is this guy?
J: Look. Just an old school friend. It's no big deal.
G: No big deal?
J: Where's my jacket? Celia, It's rubbish night and please tie the bags. I don't want dogs getting into them. Bye, bye.
G: Hey, we'll be waiting. Need a hand with that? Done your homework?
C: Will you please take your foot away.
G: What? do think I've never done homework? Just asking.
-----
P: I'm sure we used to be able to do this.
Jax: Did you think of me?
P: I was terrified of seeing you.
Jax: You remember those poems and stories you used to write? I was going to put music to them? release an album? What were we were going to call ourselves?
P: What was it? Was it silly bastards? Stupid buggers? Sick mother f&ckers? Sick f&ckers, wasn't it?
Jax: Sick Puppy, actually. Live at the Hammersmith. Yeah. See that's me. Eight years behind what was going on. But, you know, still thinking I had created it all for myself.

　　

C: Hi. I've got an assignment where I have to interview an important local community member. And it was a choice between you and Mr Aiken who set up the irrigation main. I was just wondering if I could interview you? Can I come in?
C: Is there real coffee?
P: Sure. How do you have it?
C: Macchito thanks. I'm Celia by the way.
P: I gather you do have some questions?
C: Ah Yes. Ah Yeah. OK. So, how did you get to do what you do?
P: Well, I was working for a paper in London on local articles and they needed somebody to go to Bosnia.
C: That right, yeah. You were working as a typesetter in Wellington, and you studied journalism in London, and found your break as a feature article writer, and then a field journalist for Reuters. And for the past 3 and a half years you've been solidly freelance living between London, Istanbul and Paris.
P: Well done. Yes. That抯 it. You've really done your homework.
C: People must worry about you a lot doing this kind of work. Your wife? Children.
P: No. Not married.
C: What's it like going to war just to watch?
P: I'm not there to watch. I'm there to record.
C: Is that how you got those scars?
P: No. I fell off my bike when I was 12 coming down a gravel track?.
C: No other scars?
P: Are you going to drink your macchito?
C: What's the hardest thing you have to deal with?
P: Jesus. Are these going to get any easier? I don't know, finding a loo when you need one, which always seems to be pretty f&cking impossible.
C: Why do/n't? you celebrate your birthday on Christmas?
P: Now tell me, which article did you read that one in?
C: It was your birthday when you took that photo of that girl. The one you won the Pulitzer for.
P: I was shortlisted.
C: I read that when you got nominated you withdrew the entry.
P: Long story.
C: I've got a 120 minute tape.
P: I was in Grozny. I heard about an offensive that was being mounted against the Russians. I was warned by some friends not to write about it in case the Russians caught whiff about what was going to happen.
C: So what did you do?
P: Wrote the article. Then I declined sending it through to Reuters. They found out anyway. And they retaliated by massacring over 100 civilians in the village outside the city. And I'd been out all night drinking with people who were killed a few hours later. The girl in the photo was the - was the only survivor.
C: Did you know her?
P: No.
C: Was there anyone else around?
P: Not at the time, no.
C: Just you?
P: Just me.
C: So then what?
P: I think your batteries are running flat.
P: Are you Ben Steimer's daughter?
C: Did you know him?
P: Yeah, we went to school together.
------
(butcher shop)
Jax: It's a photo of a baby.
P: Whose?
J: I don't know. Do I need to?
P: Yeah, look at the bracelet No Look. Celia 27th-2nd-87 - that's roughly 8 months after I left.
J: I sent that photo nearly 16 years ago.
P: Why did you send it? Why did you send it Jax?
J: You want an explanation? Do you know what's it like to be invisible Paul? Even just a postcard. A phone call.
Hi Sid, up there next to the //. It's in the past. OK? Just leave it.
------
(register office)
(this I do not understand - reissued 2-2-92 ?)
Will you be needing a copy of that?
No, thank you.
------
(Bar)
Girl: OMG I think I need rescuing from these TV blokes. Is it a good book is it? Cloud of Unknowing. Sounds mysterious. Where are you from?
P: Where am I from? A long way from here.
G: Me too. Mind if I join you?
P: Want a drink?
G: I'd love one
(Cloud of Unknowing is a v v interesting choice of book! 14th c mysticism on Divine Love)
G: Kiss me---
-----
(in bath - father w/ atlas)
Young Paul: Am I warm?
Father: Getting closer.
YP: Warmer?
Father: Getting warmer
YP: Warmer?
Father: Warmer, in springtime.
YP: Here.
Father recites:
Alone we are born
And Die alone
Yet see the red-gold cirrus
Over snow mountain shine
Upon the Upland road
Ride easy stranger
Surrender to the sky
Your heart of anger
(James K Baxter)
Don't be frightened of possibilities son. She's a wonderful mistress.

　　

Penny: It's OK. It's OK. It's OK.
Andrew: Go back to sleep.
-----
(school)
P: I'm helping out for a couple of weeks. And I'm new at this, so be patient with me. Who knows how many words there are in the English language?
Student: ten thousand
P: Ten thousand. Dictionary. There's actually over 750,000 words. And I was a -- I thought maybe you could all choose a word - any word - doesn't matter what - preferably something that means something to you and compose something on this word - anything - it could be just a static image of you if you think that's easier. Just so I get an idea of who you all are, and what the (****)-- I've gotten myself into.
-----
Celia: Hope. Her mind is a graveyard. Her heart is an island. She and I are not good friends but I've known her all my life. She sits in my belly hollow and distant and her whispered words of encouragement will never comfort me.
Mom?
I'm on to her tricks. Her false promises. "Go away," I tell her. "I'm busy today. I've got things to do." This acquaintance never knows when to leave. It's not a question of why she befriended me in the first place. It's more a question of why I choose to let her stay.
-----

　　

P: Your knee's bleeding.
C: I know. I fell.
P: Come on. Let's take a look at it, then.
----
C: (V.O.) Weeks passed and there was still no sign of the ocean. The people grew worried. It was decided to send a small group to search for it in the hope of bringing it back.
----
MSeagar: All right attention please. I would appreciate it if everyone listened. That includes you, Mr Brook.
Sgt. O'Neil: Look. Have any of you seen Celia since yesterday? No? Well, if she gets in touch with any of you, you know where to find me, okay? Thanks.
MsS: All right. Settle down. We've all seen a police officer before.
---
Sgt: Paul?
P: Hello.
Sgt: Look, Just wondering. Can I have a word for a second?
P: I'm already late for a class.
Sgt: It won't take long.
-----
Seagar: Back to class.
S: Paul?
Paul: Hey, Pat, It's fine. I'm just helping out with something.
Sgt O'Neil: Thanks Pat.
Sgt: Hey, did you see Celia on the weekend?
P: No,
Sgt: She used to visit though, right.
P: Yeah. She came by sometimes to borrow books.
Sgt: How often did she pop by?
P: She liked to drop by most Sundays I guess, yeah.
Sgt: Liked?
P: Likes. I said likes, I think.
Sgt: Ah see cause I think I know what Celia likes. I mean I've known her since she was a little kid. She's my daughter's best friend. I also know that you sent her an e-mail on the weekend asking her to come by and visit. She wasn't too happy about that from what I understand. You see I know this Paul because Miso agreed to drop her off.
P: Actually she did drop by briefly. I had / / / / / / / / / /
Sgt: It's nice out there at the orchard. Quiet. Private.
------
Celia: So why did you stay on?
Paul: Favour for a friend.
C: How long did you guys go out for?
P: What?
C: Mum.
P: Oh, she mentioned me.
C: When did you break up?
P: Oh seventeen, I think.
P: Keep your leg still. Listen, what you wrote the other day, I thought it was -- well considered.
C: Well considered.
P: Intriguing.
C: I like what you've done here. Where did all these books come from?
P: He never told me. Wanted to keep it a mystery I suppose.
C: Father's have got a lot to answer eh(?) ?
----
Gareth: Hey beautiful. Sorry I'm late. She can't have gone far. // mates are going to take a look around Lawrence later.
Jax: Can you bring those?
G: Sure.
-----
P: I asked for an essay about the pros and cons of immigration, Jake, not the best places to surf. Louise, Tonga has a king, not a president. I think you'll find there's more to life in Hong Kong than dance clubs, Miso.
L: What? Like secret book clubs?
Pat: Paul? Sgt O'Neil's back. He's waiting for you in the common room. I told him you were busy.
----
Sgt: You had nice handwriting as a kid. Is this one of the books she borrowed?
P: I didn't, I --I didn't keep a record, to tell you the truth - I didn't--
Sgt: What? Other things on your mind, did you? We found this on the side of the road / / came from your place. Just want to know how it got there, that's all. Did she ever talk to you about leaving?
P: Name a teenager around here who doesn't.
Sgt: I know a few actually.

　　

 / / / /
Celia: Stop. OK. You can open your eyes. Happy Birthday. Who is this anyway?
Paul: Kiri Te Kanawa. You chose it.
C: Who's she?
P: Who's she? There are people in this country who would shoot you for asking that question.
C: There are people in this country who would shoot you for listening to it. Not that I / / / /
P: No.
C: So what's she singing about?
P: Love.
P: What do you normally do on a Saturday night? Who do you hang out with when you're not having picnics with me? What do you do, go to parties or what?
C: If you can call them that. Why do want to come along? You actually might get to see them tea bagging.
P: Tea bagging? What's that?
C: Well, That's when guys get a girl completely comatose and then they take turns in lowering their testicles into her eye sockets and film it. And if they're really kind they send a copy to a paranoid friend. First class is seminal? It's not funny! I don't know what we're talking about.
P: Oh God. Well I hope you keep your distance from those kind of guys is what I'm saying.
C: So, tell me about you and mum, back in the dark ages.
P: It wasn't that long ago.
-----
C: My mom wanted to sing like this?
P: Your mother wanted to be Patti Smith
----
Teen Paul: Come with me. Come on. I'll show you something.
Teen J: What?
TJ: Where did this place come from?
TP: No one knows about it except me and my dad.
TJ: So what are you doing here?
TP: Write. Think.
TJ: Mystery boy, so many secrets
TP: What are you doing?
TJ: Giving you something to write about, moron.
----
C: Mom the rock star. It's hard to believe she even had a dream. Do you want to know what my dream is?
P: Yeah.
C: I'm sitting in a cafe in Spain. And don't know a single person there. And I can't understand a single word that anyone's saying. I've got a glass of wine and I can see the sea. Don't worry.
P: No go on. And?
C: I'm just writing. And yeah. And you know it doesn't matter if no one ever reads what I'm writing. I don't want to be famous. I just, I just want to be there.
Anyway, I'd rather be a no one somewhere than someone nowhere. I've already packed my suitcase. I'm not joking.
P: I'm not laughing at you. I had a similar dream once.
C: Really. Tell me.
P: Sometimes I'd see faces - at night before I fell asleep - people I never met. And I'd wonder who they were, where they might live, what they did, and it was strange because it was like they knew I was thinking about them.
C: Why did you become a war journalist?
P: Who you set out to be is not always who you become. You know, Things happen. Plans change.
C: I see them too. Faces.
P: I wanted to give you something.
C: Yeah right.
P: I just - I think you should enter.
---
C: You never talk about your mum.
P: My mum? She's very religious. She had these little sermons about the beauty God hides away in quiet corners.
C: Is that what your dad was hiding from in here
P: No, they - I think she was just quiet, you know. My dad and her were very different. My dad didn't believe in anything. He's an atheist. My brother and her were very close.
C: I heard she had an accident
P: Yes she did. She was diagnosed as bi-polar, manic depression. Doctors prescribed lithium but she stopped taking it, I think.
C: What happened?
P: She was standing in the river - at the back of the property and she pointed up to this hawk in the sky and then when I looked back she was gone. Found the body two days later, I think.
C: Is that why you push people away?
P: I do as I f&cking please Celia. You know I hate to spoil your illusions but the world out there isn't a bed of roses waiting to be picked or what ever it was you said, a glass of chardonnay in a f&cking tapas bar. You understand?
C: It wasn't an insult. Sorry
P: OK
P: Hey Jax.
Jax: Hi. I saw the smoke and I didn't want to disturb you but I remembered it was your birthday and so I -- Get in the car
C: No
J: Celia I am sick of this. I said get in the car. I said get in the car
C: You have no right to be here. Night Paul.
J: You have the audacity to bring here and give her alcohol?
P: Jax, it's not what you think
J: You even presume to know what I think?
---
Father: Excuse me. I need a notebook. I know it's here somewhere.
Teen Paul: Sorry dad.
F: There's nothing to be sorry for as long as you're being cautious.
TP: Yeah of course.
F: I'll be on my way.
TP: You shouldn't be here.
Teen Jax: He doesn't care. I mean you saw for yourself.
TP: I care
TJ: What are you telling me? That I'm not as important as what goes on in your head?
TP: There's just parts of me you can't have. No one can.

Paul: Hey
Celia: Hey
P: Are you okay?
C: Uh hm / / /at your place.
P: What's this? Jesus Christ. Did she do this? Celia tell me, who did it?
C: I don't want to talk about it. It wasn't mom.
---
Paul: Hey where is he?
Jackie: Paul what are you doing?
P: Where is he?
J: Paul what are you doing in my house?
P: Where is he Jackie?
Gareth: what's going on?
P: Is this the a-hole?
G: What? Who the f's this?
J: Just shut up, Gareth. Paul would you leave.
G: So this is the famous Paul.
P: You like beating up little girls, do you. You know it's assault, is what it is. You touch her again. I'll kill you.
G: Is that right mate? Yeah
(lots of swearing)
J: Do you think you can come here and do this sh&t in front of my kids?
P: Have you seen her f-ing bruises? What did you think I was going to do?
J: She got a lot more than she got. I want you to stay away from her.
P: You changed the birth certificate. When were you going to tell her about that?
J: Just stay out of our lives, all right?
P: Yeah.
G: See you around Paul, you f-ing prick.
---
Paul: Hello. Hello. Hello. Celia?
----
Paul: She might have gone to Spain.
----
Jax: No, no, no, wait. My daughter plans on running off to Spain and he sees nothing, I don't call that irrelevant.
Sgt. O'Neill: Come on Jackie it not like its the first time she's done something like this.
J: Oh great. How good, this is good. So you are defending him now? Okay, so when exactly did she say she was running off to Spain?
Paul: She didn't. She didn't say. All I knew is she had the ticket. I thought she was going to leave when school was finished. That's all. I didn't know what to think.
J: Yeah Well I know what I think. I think you are out of your mind.
P: She made me promise not to tell a soul
J: I'm her mother. OK? When exactly did she make this promise Paul? Was it when you were plying her with alcohol?
P: I wasn't plying her with alcohol. I gave her a glass, Jackie. A child could have drunk it.
J: A child did drink it.
P: Oh yeah. And did he think of that when he was punching the sh&t out of her? And the rest.
Gareth: F-off. Don't bring me into it.
P: Sneaking up to her pissing in the toilet while she is lying in the bath?
If it took her going half way around the world to get away from you, you f A---
Sgt: You two stay in here.
In my office. I want a word with you alone.
J: What's he talking about?
G: Nothing.
J: Wtf is he talking about?
G: Nothing

　　

----
Sgt O'Neill: Tell me about the last time you saw her. Everything.
Paul: We were at the gate. She was carrying the atlas. She said goodbye and she left.
Sgt: No special goodbyes?
P: No special goodbyes. No she had a couple of books she hadn't got around to reading and I told her she could keep
Sgt: Names of these books?
P: Oh f say, what does it matter? I don't know. Owls do Cry by Janet Frame and another one, Camus, The Outsider, I think it was.
That's Camus not canoe, C-A-M-U-S
Sgt: You smug pr&ck. Not all of us had to run off to Europe, mate. (?)
---
Miss Seagar: I guess you've seen this. Small town bl--dy gossip. I don't know what to do about this Paul. The board of trustees have called a meeting. You don't deserve this.
Paul: You know it's fine, Pat. It's time I left anyway. Honestly.
--
Paul: Hey Jonathan. Jonathan.
--
Paul: Jonathan, hey Jonathan Get in. Jonathan get in the car, it's bl--dy freezing.
Come on.
--
Paul: Put your seat belt on.
Jonathan: Were you having sex with her?
P: What?
J: You know who.
P: Who said that? Who said that?
J: Kids at school, said you were giving her special coaching in bed.
P: And you believed them? Huh, and you believed --
How's that camera going? I haven't seen you with it lately.
---
As the days went on, more and more people went looking. The people searched far and wide but the ocean had vanished without a trace. The quiet land once bountiful had become hard and unyielding. Then a shape appeared on the horizon. Through a blaze of hate the people saw what looked like tumbling water rolling towards them. A wave of excitement passed through the town as they anxiously watched the ocean return. But as it grew closer the shape began to alter and mutate. What looked like tumbling water was in fact wild horses. Everywhere they turned they saw horses drawing closer and closer. Their excitement turned to fear. And their fear became panic, for it seemed that nothing could stop their advance. Which as the ocean's disappearance had come without warning. But then no one, not even for a moment, had stopped to question why the ocean had left in the first place.
---
DI Farnon: Mr Prior. I am Detective Inspector Farnon from Wellington CIV This is Detective Dunleavy. I've a warrant to search these premises and I'll need you to accompany me to the station for questioning.
I'll need your passport and keys to your car. I believe there's a shed where Celia used to visit you.
--
DI Farnon: Right then, let's get you home.
--
DI Farnon: Why did Celia come to your place last Sunday? Did you hear the question?
Paul: Yes.
DI: I understand she visited you regularly. What was the nature of the visits?
P: We talked about things.
DI: What things?
P: Europe. Books. Celia wants to be a writer.
DI: "I am not flesh. I am not blood. They can look all they like but they'll never see me. If I never hear your love or hold your hand again in this life, promise me we will touch when I am dead."
It's called 'Poem for a Lonely Friend'. Would you consider yourself lonely Paul? Thank you. Would you keep that door closed, please.
Why did Celia keep visiting you even though her parents had forbidden it?
P: Parents?
DI: Mother.
P: I guess she saw something in me.
DI: And what was that?
P: Well I'm not Celia.
DI: Then perhaps you'd like to tell me what it was you saw in her? I know this is diffi--
P: I remember being her.
---
C: What did you do this time? (?)
P: Come on leave me alone now . Go away. Just f-ing go, come on leave me alone. I don't need this sh&t. Celia Just go.
C: What? Did mum say something to you?
P: Your mum threatened to ring the school, yeah. Okay?
C: No it's not okay. God she's so f-ing presumptuous. Who the f cares what she thinks? She's got a f-ing boyfriend he wears boat shoes. People // and now they're both wearing them. You never see a f-ing boat around here.
I just came to tell you that I entered the contest
P: Well that's great, now get going.
C: It's not like // friends or something, Paul.
It was you who said that we shouldn't care what other people think of us. Or were you just saying that?
---
C: / / /how you and mom used to go out and now it me and you that are friends? I feel like I've known you my whole life.
P: Yeah, well its a small world.
C: It isn't a small world. Were you guys in love? There must've been something going on if you tattooed each others feet. It's a little hard to imagine what you saw in her.
P: Well, you're not the first person to feel that way about their parents. Anyway it's a long time ago.
C: When I was a / / /I was only sixteen. You'd tell me if you knew anything, eh? Is that a promise?
P: Oh stuff it. Let's get wet. Come on.

　　

---
P: Oh geez - Andrew. Jonathan.
A: We were on our way home from church and thought we'd stop in for a cuppa.
C: It's freezing!
A: Have you see this new thing that they're building? It looks like a giant barn.
C: I'm going to go to the bathroom.
P: I'll put the kettle on.
TV: Family and friends of Celia Steimer are doing everything possible to help police find her. More than 50 volunteers are now scouring waterways and bushlands in the Marshall road forest. The sixteen year old Rapari Junction HS student has been missing now for more than a week.
DI Robin Farland says that they have to consider every option. She acknowledged a local man is helping them with their inquiries and that the police will be visiting every house in the area.
--
Andrew: He'll be fine. Let them handle it.
---
Andrew: Please just use an ashtray
Paul: OK
A: Listen I spoke to the lawyer in Alexandria and he reckons he's handled this sort of thing before, so. He wants you to give him a call first thing in the morning.
P: Hey, what sexual position creates the ugliest offspring? What sexual position creates--
A: I don't know Paul.
P: Ask your mother. Can you imagine if she saw us now? Can you imagine that? What do you think she'd say? Two brothers having a drink and a chat. What do think? She'd be proud, or what? Huh?
A: Why are you doing this?
P: Doing What?
A: You know exactly what.
P: Why can't you just talk to me? Huh? F- you. What the f are you looking at? Never seen two brothers talking before?
A: You want to talk, let's talk. Forget the fact you come in here blind drunk and interrupt a meeting but then you just bring up mom like that? I mean how dare you? I realize you are in a spot //, Paul, but that doesn't give you the right to behave like this. The truth?
P: Yeah.
A: You were never there for mom. // sick--
P: Brilliant. So you do have an opinion, OK Andrew. WTF is that supposed to mean? I couldn't get near her.
A: Blame it all on me. I had to be you. Did you know that?
P: You made sure of it. A happy little f-ing threesome: Andy, mom and God. No one else invited.
A: You were begged to do it. You were begged--
and you never took one single step towards--
P: / / /when dad turned to the booze at least for all his faults, he let me in. He let me in.
A: / / /Remember/ / /? You listen to me Paul, you listen, listen to me. You know sometimes I look at you and all I see is him. Just him. I find that quite disheartening.
P: Yeah, well, at least I didn't marry my f-ing mother. Has she always been like that or just when she met you?
A: Go to hell Paul.
---
Paul: Just open it.
Celia: No
P: Celia, give me the f-ing letter.
C: It doesn't matter.
P: Open it. Will you just open it?
C: No. You open it.
P: Open it
C: Wonder who came in first.
P: (reads) Amid the 2000 or so entries we were delighted with Ms Steimers story. This work shows an emerging remarkable talent for someone so young. It catches a sense of beauty, mystery and loss without ever losing sight of what might be.
P: You wonder who came first? I'll tell you who came first. Someone three times your age, probably, someone who bl--dy well deserved to come first.
--
Celia: Thank you for making it special for me. The den and everything.
Paul: I need a cigarette to cope with this sort of scenery. In the car. I'll be back in a tic.
C: Can you leave me your jacket?
---
Jax: Are you going to be home tonight. I need you to baby sit Sam. Celia, I asked you a question.
Celia: Is he my father?
J: I wish it were that simple.
---
Paul: Hey you. What's up?
Celia: Did you know? Did you know? Answer me! Did you know?
P: Oh Celia.
C: I know what you did when you took the photo of that girl. You walked away and left her. That's why you withdrew the entry so you wouldn't even have to deal with her.
P: You don't know--
C: Don't. Was she just another photo? Just another picture of this f-ing war puzzle that you try to figure out? Was she just like me? Was she just like me? Was she just someone you could pick up and throw away and forget about? How do you live with yourself?

　　

Paul: Andrew, Penny, are you there? Will you just open the door? I just need somewhere to stay. Come on Penny, I know you're in there.
--
Paul: You know Jonathan all that stuff in the papers, that's all just speculation. All right? It's rubbish. They have no proof. I'm still your uncle.
Jonathan: No you're not. Do you think we're both f-ing stupid?
P: What did you say?
J: Leave me alone! I hope they kill you. I hope they--
P: Hey hey hey hey Come on, It's OK. It's Ok. It's all right, it's ok its ok its ok It's all right, I know you like her. I know you like her. It's all right.
P: Listen you have to tell me what you meant by both of you. Look at me. What did you mean by both of us think you're stupid? Tell me what meant by both of us? I锟絤 not going to hurt you. I promise I won't hurt you. What is it Jonathan?
---
Jonathan: I was looking for my camera. I thought he was hiding it to protect you.
Paul: Where is he?
J: In Christchurch 'til tomorrow.
--
Andrew: Paul, Paul, are you there?
---
Andrew: I just heard from the lawyer. What do you mean you don't want to sell? You can't. I'm up to my eyeballs--
What the hell did you do that for?
Paul: Get up. Get up. What were you going to do? Plant it at my place like the atlas?
A: Is this really unnecessary? Okay. Okay. There was a time I wondered why you up and left. You knew what he was up to, didn't you? At least look at me and tell me before you pull the trigger. You know the really sad part? I didn't even find out until I read the will. That's how far back I was. But then how was I to know Paul? I was only a kid, a fifteen year old kid. You killed me when you walked away and left me with that evil piece of scum. You think you even get a second f-ing chance? You knew you b*****d, and you had the gall to come back here and bring that thing into our house - my mother's house!
And god knows what you锟絩e doing with her, but then like father like son.
P: Andrew, you don't know what the f you锟絩e talking about.
A: He was screwing that teenage whore of yours.
P: No
A: He was. You knew it.
P: No!
A: And you walked!
P: Andrew no! It's got nothing to do with you.
A: You saw it with your own eyes. You knew and you walked and you never looked back.
P: What did you do to her?
A: Our mother died the moment that b*****d was conceived.
P: Just tell me.
A/Mother: "Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing."(2 Corinthians 6:17)
P: Tell me.
A: Go ahead and cry. It's about time you cried for our mother.
P: I'll kill you. I f-ing swear I'll kill you.
A: I told her everything. Everything. Someone had to set the record straight. I had a right to that money Paul. That money was mine if nothing else, at least that.
And I should give her a third at 18 along with a nice little letter. Rather convenient, eh. Nice and smooth. She wanted proof. She asked to see the will.
A: Wait here.
A: Mom was there.
Paul: What? What?
Penny: What are you doing in here?
Celia: I was just looking.
Penny: Who are you?
C: He brought me here.
Penny: I know what you are. You have no right to be in my house. I want you to stay away from my family. Is that clear? Stay away.
C: So he told you about me. Haven't you told her?
A: I told you to wait outside.
Penny: Is it true, Andrew?
C: You people.
Penny: Get out!
A: She smiled, Paul. Simple misunderstanding. What's done is done. For what it's worth mum wants it this way.
--
Jonathan: Uncle Paul.
Paul: Jonathan.
J: Can you come over?
--
Jonathan: I rang the police. Am I in trouble?
Penny: No you're not.
----
[Paul wait. Paul wait. Paul come back home. Paul don't leave. Paul--]
The people had no choice but to trust that the horses would lead them to their ocean. Without reins or saddles they rode the horses across the barren land. But the ocean had disappeared for good. And the people, together and alone had no choice but to face each other in their loss. They made a home for themselves in a new environment. Although one that had changed forever. They learnt to live in the space that the ocean had left. Although it lingered in their dreams.
---
Paul: Celia.
Celia: Your e-mail said it was urgent.
P: Yeah, I just wanted to see you. I've just been reading your story. So, you want to come in? Have a cup of tea? I'll make you a macchito.
I wanted to give you this.
C: It's a bit out of date.
P: I don't think the world has changed that much in 25 years. Have a look inside.
C: What's this?
P: What do you think it is? It's open. So you can use it anytime you like. You can leave after school's finished. Hey, Celia, this is not some pathetic attempt to make everything all right. It's just - the ticket is just a gift.
C: You knew about mum and your father together.
P: But I didn't know about you.
C: Why didn't you just tell me?
P: I didn't know how. I'm sorry. Look. In Spain, there's a place called Andelucia. It's hot and it's white and dusty. And you can see the ocean. This is it.
---
Paul: I can drive you home.
Celia: It's Okay. I can walk. Hey Paul. About the ticket.
P: Don't worry about it, of course.
C: Promise?
P: Yeah, it's our secret.
C: es nuestro secreto
P: I thought you couldn't speak Spanish.
C: Adios brother.
P: Bye Celia.